Doamne, mare ti-e beletristica!

Din vastele anale ale literaturii romantice, site-ul "Librarie.net" ne pune la dispozitie sinopsisuri edulcorate ale unor carti pentru florarese insingurate.

Iata cateva crampeie vomitiv-amoroase din aceste mirifice tomuri care contin aventurile unor femei care: sunt speriate de barbati, devin prostituate dar gasesc dragostea adevarata, refuza sa hiberneze (pardon?), sufera de sindromul Stockholm etc etc.

Castelul dintre Stejari

Fiind nevoita sa se intretina, se angajeaza ca domnisoara de companie la batrana doamna Peneloppe Stewart care traia intr-un castel in apropierea Londrei. Se ataseaza repede una de alta, iar cand apare si nepotul Elias, Caroline se indragosteste de el. Dar in viata acestuia exista extravaganta si posesiva Beatrice care avea planurile ei cu Elias...

Fiul gradinarului

Jessica nu-si credea ochilor. Acesta era oare adolescentul brutal si insolent care o chinuia acum cincisprezece ani? Da, atat de diferit si totusi usor de recunoscut, cel din fata ei era Carter Malloy. Devenise un arhitect renumit si... ce barbat!

Iubire din trecut

Soarta insa ii fu potrivnica, pentru ca acolo, il intalni chiar pe cel de care dorise sa fuga, pe Hugh Grey insusi. In scurt timp, tanara realiza, de asemenea, ca barbatul o dorea foarte mult — la fel ca inainte — dar era... simpla atractie fizica, iar tot ceea ce vroia Annabel era... sa fie iubita.

Minunile dragostei

Si, cu toate ca parea atras de ea, o facu sa inteleaga foarte clar ca ceea ce simtea fata de ea era numai o dorinta, nu dragoste...

Vis si Cosmar

Desi Jonathon o asigurase ca va fi doar o casatorie formala, Sophia intelese cu timpul ca trebuie sa-i devina cu adevarat sotie.

Ratacita in Desert

Curand, Melissa se trezeste prizoniera alaturi de sora ei, dar constata ca nu vrea sa scape de cel care-i pusese la cale rapirea...

Iubire Inocenta

Isi pierduse casa, n-avea niciun ban si fusese parasita pe o insula necunoscuta, cand l-a intalnit pe Adam Kanaris, care va sari imediat in ajutorul ei. Intr-o clipa, i-a schimbat complet viata, oferindu-i o slujba si adapost in vila lui luxoasa.

Subjugati de iubire

In urma unui tragic accident de avion, Dinah ramane orfana de ambii parinti. Este incredintata unei rude indepartate, a carei pupila devine.

Dreptul la fericire

Si totusi, minunea se intampla. Nu numai ca n-o ignora dar ii demonstreaza ca e foarte interesat de ea. Si totusi s-ar fi putut incheia fara piedici daca n-ar fi intervenit Lisa Harlow, hotarata sa le puna bete in roate.


Inca o sansa

Ei bine, poate ca era o nebunie sa accepte, dar Megan nu-si putea permite sa hiberneze tot restul vietii. Trebuia sa demonstreze ca evoluase de la stadiul de fraiera sentimentala parasita...

Condurul de sticla

Darcy avea in sfirsit ocazia de a fi aproape de Reed si de a petrece o scurta vacanta in Florida. Dar rolul iubitei lui Reed, pe care trebuia sa-l joace, avea sa-i aduca deopotriva lacrimi si fericire

Vis de adolescenta

Si, intr-adevar, in timpul cat este nevoita sa imparta spatiul cu el, Sally descopera, pe propria-i piele efectul devastator al acestui barbat. Va iesi oare teafara dintr-o asemenea experienta?...

Nopti tropicale

Verna intampina destule probleme, si pe deasupra mai apare si Madeleine Cunningham, cu ganduri de casatorie!

O oaza de liniste

Oraselul Coloma, din satul Wisconsin, reprezinta pentru Alexa o oaza de liniste. Se stabilise aici, sau mai bine zis se “refugiase”, la o pepiniera de conifere.

Iubire nestinsa

Totusi, este deja sigura ca se va intampla ceva foarte placut intre ea si un pasager: contele Paul Vansini. In cazul acesta, de ce oare doctorul Lindsay, un englez distant si fara umor, incearca sa strice totul?

Sian

Era ceva normal, se gandi Annabel, ca dupa zece ani Caird Gloster sa apara din nou in viata ei exact pe acel feribot, in timp ce ii era rau de mare. La fel de normal era si faptul ca el intelese imediat ca Sian era fiica lor. O fiica despre care nu-i spusese niciodata... Ei bine, n-avea sa intre pur si simplu in viata lor dupa tot ce facuse.


Daca sunteti o florareasa insingurata sau o postarita deprimata, va recomand cu efervescenta aceste lecturi. Doamne-ajuta!

Infernul Ziarelor

1. CLICK.RO

Daca nu pe nevasta-sa a lovit-o, o fi lovit-o pe Andreea Marin? Si daca da, de ce n-a batut-o cand era gestanta cu plodul infernal iesit din impreunarea cu odiosul Banica Jr.?

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Nu, pe italian nu-l cheama Gheorghe asa cum m-as fi asteptat. Il cheama "Alessio" (what the fuck?)

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Deci asta inseamna ca Botezatu a fost baiat destept in repetate randuri?

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Pardon? Arata de parca s-a trezit de 10 ani incontinuu.

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Astept ziua in care Lady Gaga o sa cante la chiloti.

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Nu, nu este vorba de fostul (cred?) gagic al Elenei Basescu. E vorba de boala aia de omoara poponari. 

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Probabil ca atunci cand iti petreci 90% din timp cu dejtu' in cur, e ceva normal.

2. CANCAN.RO

Asa e cand te duci la magazinul din coltul strazii sa-ti cumperi Vuittoane si sticksuri.

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Mai degraba viata i s-a schimbat de cand a fost fututa. Apropo, e cineva 100% sigur ca asta nu si-a halit copilul? 

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Exista doua posibilitati: 

1. Va fi o piata unde se vor perinda numai hahalere.

2. Va fi o piata unde se va rade f mult.

3. LIBERTATEA.RO

Deci o baba pe care o chema Babutza a fost si batuta si...stearsa de sange dup-aia cu servetelele (sper?).

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Normal, atunci cand arati ca the evil hellspawn al lui Cher cu Boy George nu te mai recunoaste nimeni. Daca a fost cineva la concert...asta mai are si alta melodie in afara de aia?

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Si Madalina Manole zicea la fel.

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Stim clar din DALLAS ca J.R. nu a murit impuscat de altcineva si ca nici nu s-a sinucis in ultimul episod deci nu stiu ce e cu dezinformarea asta?????

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Soc si groaza! O sa apara Elodia la inmormantare? Este tatal Elodiei de fapt Elodia in travesti?

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Dar vai, ce abundenta de stiri cu SIDA. Ce nu inteleg eu este: cum poate fi cineva omorat cu SIDA? Ca nu e ca si cum ti-ar da in cap cu SIDA si ai murit...???

OMG OMD!

OMD are back! That was...unexpected?

Anyway, very very nice tune from the new album, History of Modern.

CLICK!

Music 2010 [so far] [cont'd]

1. Chromeo - Business Casual

2. Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 2

3. James - The Morning After

4. Sambassadeur - European

5. M.I.A. - /\/\/\Y/\

6. Matthew Dear - Black City

7. HURTS - Happiness

8. Royksopp - Senior

9. of Montreal - False Priest

10. Rose Elinor Dougal - Without Why

No comment?

Click the pic to zoom.

George RR Martin - Fevre Dream

   

      Abner Marsh has had his dearest wish come true - he has built the Fevre Dream, the finest steamship ever to sail the Mississippi. Abner hopes to race the boat some day, but his partner is making it hard for him to realize his ambition. Joshua York put up the money for the Fevre Dream, but now rumours have started about the company he keeps, his odd eating habits and strange hours. As the Dream sails the great river, it leaves in its wake one too many dark tales, until Abner is forced to face down the man who helped to make his dreams become reality.

       The thing that caught my attention the first time I saw Fevre Dream on the shelves was the fact that it had steamboats. I was fascinated by steamboats since I was a child so I couldn't really pass up on this opportunity, especially since the book was filed under Horror/Fantasy. 

       From the start I'll admit to the fact that this is my first George RR Martin book so I didn't know quite what to expect in terms of writing. I know he's famous for the "A Song of Ice and Fire" series but that's about it. I'll just clear this from the start: I'll buy his other books as well.
Fevre Dream is a very rich novel with an amazing cast, deep and complex characters and a superb setting (spanning from New Madrid to New Orleans). And, of course, steamboats. Lots and lots of steamboats, the majority (if not all) being actual steamboats that ran during that period (such as the Robert E. Lee, the Natchez, the Eclipse).
The book is more like an alternative history type of book which doesn't hurt it at all. It mingles vampires (it's not a spoiler, no worries) with actual events and places. And, of course, steamboats (lots and lots!).

       The characters are simply extraordinary, even the ones that are not fully fleshed out. 
Abner Marsh is especially well created and interesting, along with Joshua York (which provides the books main emotional passages) and Damon Julian (who manages to channel some sort of Cthulhu-like majesty, at least that's what RR Martin's depiction of Damon's ancient evil reminded me of).

       Also, the book is extremely well crafted in terms of plot. It never drags out, the pace is even and it keeps you hooked like a vampire to a neck (pun very much intended!). Speaking of vampires, Fevre Dream offers a fresh take on the vampire myth but I won't go into that since it kind of is a major spoiler.

       At the end of the day, I'm very pleased with the book and charmed by Abner Marsh's character and very happy with the in-depth portrayal of the steamboat era. It's a must read!

Just finished...

Just finished reading:

Will be back with a review as soon as I finish re-reading Chuck Palahniuk's Lullaby.

Predators

It's a fact: there isn't much love for Predator 2 in the movie industry. There's even less love for the Alien vs. Predator movies (one of the most outrageously insipid series around, almost as useless and cretinous as the Twilight series). While I understand why the AvP series is hated (I'm one of the people that despise it fiercely), I fail to see why Predator 2 is not considered a worthy sequel. Sure, it obviously has its fair share of flaws and problems but, compare it to Predators and you'll see that you can have it so much worse.

Predators, directed by Nimrod Antal (the director of Vacancy, Armored and Control) and produced by Robert Rodriguez (the director of the amazing Planet Terror and of the snoozefest that is Sin City, among others - i won't even go into his family movies), is such an awful bore-fest that I almost nodded off a few times (even during the action sequences!). Predators is a movie that's so devoid of any fun and soul that it makes one want to poke Robert Rodriguez' eyes out for mistreating such a simple and great concept in this way.

The plot of Predators is as simple as it can get: a group of individuals find themselves stranded on an alien planet and hunted by the Predators in the title. Sure, no one was actually thinking that the movie will have an amazingly rich plot and a lot of character depth and development (it's an action/S.F. movie and a sequel to boot - and to top it all off, the series is not known for its epic plotting or intense characters). The group of people is formed of a mercenary (a god-awful Adrien Brody, acting like a wooden puppet, as usual); a special ops woman (Alice Braga); a medic (Topher Grace, playing it like he did Venom in the horrible Spiderman 3 movie - that is like a sour, constipated asshole); an FBI most wanted killer; the mandatory black person; the other racially diverse character (an under-used Danny Trejo); a russian and a Yakuza guy. The cast is almost as diverse as High School Musical or as a christian porn movie (if there is such a thing) and almost as annoying and vomit-inducing (with, of course, the exception of Danny Trejo).

Obviously, since it's called Predators, you won't see just the average/regular/classic Predator, you'll meet a cast of Predators (one as boring as the next). Funnily enough, the big Predator boss somehow reminded me of Jason Voorhees when he was souped up in Jason X. Yes, folks, it's that bad.

Unfortunately, the movie doesn't even achieve the title of "So Bad It's Good". It's just bad, boring, it's full of cringe-worthy moments (such as the one-on-one sword fight between a Predator and the Yakuza guy), some truly shoddy and wooden acting (Adrien Brody, why won't you just go away?) and awful scripting and special effects (never thought that someone could get fire wrong in a movie nowadays and don't even get me started on how bad the invisible Predators look).

Rodriguez and Antal managed to create a movie that has no fan service (apart from the passing mention of the first movie's events) and that is so mortifyingly boring and retarded, you'll beg either for a coma or for your money back. How can someone manage to suck the fun out of an action/S.F. movie based on one of the best movies of the 80s is beyond me.

Rodriguez, get it right with Machete or I'll kick you in the nads.

Jim Butcher - Storm Front (Dresden Files Book 1)

Lost items found. Paranormal Investigations.

Consulting. Advice. Reasonable rates.

No Love Potions, Endless Purses, or

Other Entertainment.

Harry Dresden is the best at what he does - and not just because he's the only one who does it. So when the Chicago P.D. has a case that transcends mortal capabilities, they come to him for answers. Because the everyday world is not as 'everyday' as it seems. It's actually full of strange and supernatural things - and most of them don't play well with humans. That's where Harry comes in. Takes a wizard to catch a - well, whatever it is the police are having trouble with this time.

There's just one problem. Business, to put it mildly, stinks. So when the police bring him in to consult on a grisly double murder committed with black magic, Harry's seeing dollar signs. But where there's black magic, there's a black mage behind it. And now that mage knows Harry's name. And that's when things start to get...interesting.

Magic. It can get a guy killed.

I initially found out about Jim Butcher and his "Dresden Files" series after purchasing, by mistake, "Turn Coat" which happens to be the eleventh book in the Harry Dresden series. The blurb on the back cover seemed interesting enough the first time around so I decided to purchase and read the first (at least for now) book in the series. I'm glad I made that decision.

"Storm Front" is a very entertaining novel of magic, humor and the financiary struggles of Harry Dresden (actually, Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden) that seems to be just an average Joe. With a twist. He's a wizard and not only that but he is the only wizard you'll ever find in the phone book as he's the only openly practicing wizard in the country.

The novel is written from a first person perspective (obviously Harry's perspective) and from the beginning it's clear that Harry is no usual wizard: he's not very sharp but he has great self-deprecating humor. The supporting characters are not very fleshed out, being mostly reduced to the level of sidekicks or helping the narrative to move along. One particular character that I would've liked to know more about is Bob, the spirit trapped in a skull in a basement. He slightly reminded me of Bartimaeus, from The Bartimaeus Trilogy, albeit on a sexual overdrive.

The villain (trying not to spoil too much there) is basically one-dimensional and has no redeeming qualities but it does not really hurt the novel overall.

There are some interesting things in the novel in terms of the magic system that's being used by the wizards with the staves and rods being used to channel the magic power, the tapping of energy from storms, the usage of summoning circles etc. Sure, it's nothing very original but it is interesting to see how Butcher uses them to suit the book's and/or the character's needs. Unfortunately, the Sight (the Third Eye of the magicians, where they can See the actual energies and forms of the things around them - sort of like the plane scanning in The Bartimaeus Trilogy but on a smaller scale) is something that is not very detailed and I hope that in future books we'll get to find out more about it.

"Storm Front" is in no way a masterpiece of contemporary literature. It's not epic neither in scope nor prose. It's sheer Fun and it's a great way to spend some hours. It never reaches the levels of The Bartimaeus Trilogy, for example, in terms of humor or character development but, as I mentioned above, it's worth a read. I'm very much looking forward to reading the other books in the series and I'm sure I'll have a lot of fun with Harry Dresden.

John Connolly - Every Dead Thing

The Travelling Man is on the move. Few will survive the journey.
Former New York detective Charlie Parker is a man shattered by the brutal killings of his wife and child.
The Travelling Man is an artist of death, making human bodies his canvas and taking faces as his prize.
Now another girl is missing...

I was very excited about John Connolly after reading his "Book of Lost Things", a smart and very well written fantasy novel. I had heard about his Charlie Parker thrillers but didn't really get around to picking one up and reading it (I think it's mostly due to the fact that I've been obsessed with Richard Laymon lately). I eventually bought about 5 of his 8 Charlie Parker books and just finished "Every Dead Thing", his first Charlie Parker novel (named after the american saxophonist and composer).

The book starts out with a bang, the death of Charlie Parker's wife and young daughter at the hands of an individual called The Travelling Man. What's striking from the beginning (and it will hold up throughout the rest of the book) is that Connolly does not forbear from depicting very graphical murders (especially involving children and young adults). He also touches on things that are hardly mainstream in books: child rape, child mutilation etc. so this probably isn't a book for people that find such matters distasteful. I do not, however, so I kept on reading. The plot eventually splits in two (I actually enjoyed the secondary plot more, about the dissapearance of Catherine Demeter, than I did the main plot, about the Travelling Man) and, eventually, all will fall into place (as it usually does and you just know everything is connected, more or less).

Moving on to the characters now. Connolly wrote Charlie Parker as a depressed (for obvious reasons) former alcoholic with a sharp tongue. His humor is quite sparkling at times and he does manage to be a likeable anti-hero (the first comparison coming to mind was that of Spencer Grant from Koontz's "Dark Rivers of The Heart" - although, Spencer Grant was not an alcoholic with a sense of humor and Charlie Parker is sans chien). The supporting cast are an interesting bunch as well: Rachel Wolfe (Charlie Parker's psychologist friend), Angel and Louis (the gay assasins pair), Woolrich (Charlie Parker's long time FBI friend). There are some characters that are one-dimensional but I wasn't really bothered by that, as they helped move along the plot in an effective way.

The setting of the novel was something that attracted me from the beginning: part of it takes place in New Orleans (and sorroundings). Connolly's New Orleans is not far from the New Orleans we've come to know in movies such as Cat People (the hyper-sexualized 1982 version), Angel Heart and even Lynch's Wild at Heart. I have no clue if New Orleans was ever like that but I would love to visit it in its pre-Katrina years.

Connolly's prose is gripping from the start and his humorous burts lighten up the mood just at the right times. I do have some gripes with the book, though. The plot twist is a bit too obvious, the final showdown is rather mild and the Travelling Man does not really travel that much (but perhaps it's an allegory that is completely lost to me). Even as it is, I highly recommend this novel and I'll be returning to Charlie Parker once I'm done with what I'm currently reading and I'll most definitely have a complete John Connolly book collection in the near future.

Pourvu Quelles Soient Douces

So...here's the best music video ever made, in its full glory, split in two parts (stupid youtube!):

Part 1

Part 2


Enjoy. There's nothing better.

Music 2010 [so far]

So, here's what's necessary to listen to in 2010 so far:


1. Marina And The Diamonds - The Family Jewels
2. Scissor Sisters - Night Work
3. Yeasayer - Odd Blood
4. Hot Chip - One Life Stand
5. James - The Night Before
6. Joanna Newsom - Have One On Me
7. Xiu Xiu - Dear God I Hate Myself
8. Smooth - The Parade
9. Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1
10. Goldfrapp - Head First
11. CocoRosie - Grey Oceans
12. Caribou - Swim
13. These New Puritans - Hidden
14. Morning Benders - Bigh Echo

Will return with updates as time goes by.

Nintendo Love!

How Nintendo kicked the universe's ass.

E3. Ieri. Nintendo. Wow.

Cred ca cele patru cuvinte sunt suficiente. Dupa o conferinta Microsoft destul de flasca (for lack of a better word) in care au fost prezentate Call of Duty (deja sunt vreo 4500 de jocuri in seria asta), Gears Of War 3 (sa zicem ca merge), Halo (cel mai prost FPS) si Kinect (sau Kinetic sau cum 'zda ma-sii ii zice Natalului mai nou) si inaintea unei conferinte Sony (Nici nu stiu daca a fost conferinta dar sa fim seriosi, they're the worst...worst than Apple!), Nintendo blew everyone away.

With what, you may ask?

Well:

- Zelda! Motion Plus! Wii! Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword!

- First Wii Kirby Game (si arata fabulos)

- Goldeneye! (oh da!)

- Donkey Kong Returns (stunning!)

- 3DS !!!!

- Kid Icarus!!!

- Epic Mickey!

- More Golden Sun footage!

- More Metroid Other M footage!

- 3DS !!!!!

- Zelda!

- 3DS !!!!!

Well, gosh darnit! I got goosebumps!

Way to go Nintendo! Iar au dat cu adversarii de pamant (as if anyone can hold a candle to Nintendo, ha!).

Les Nooz-papierz!

Sa purcedem, dara cu...

Cancan

1) Simona Sensual a fost agresata de o stripteuza la Targul Erotic. Stripteuza Natasha nu a gustat (excelent corelat acest termen cu ceea ce urmeaza) faptul ca Simona Sensual i-a intins o acadea in forma de penis in loc de microfon. Drept urmare, SS s-a ales cu un deget dat peste cap. Daca lua Botezatu interviu, se alegea cu un penis peste cap?

2) Mihai Albu spune despre pantofii sai cu tocuri de 30 de cm ca sunt foarte comozi si ca a lucrat doua luni la ei. Nu pot decat sa imi imaginez tortura prin care a trecut sfincterul sau la testarea timp de doua luni a acelor tocuri. Cata oroare si malaxare anala!

3) Victor Ponta (aceasta Elizabeta Regina Virgina a politicii romane) spune ca asculta Parazitii doar in masina pentru ca altfel l-ar capaci nevasta. Plus un detaliu major: ii place versul "Sa sugi pula de ziua ta". Acum, oricine stie ca Parazitii sunt niste mizerii abominabile si singurul lucru mai rau decat hip hop-ul romanesc sunt manelele si...mi-am pierdut idea.

4) Un bistritean a facut sex cu propria fiica si au un copil impreuna. Adica fi-sa lu' fi-sa e sor-sa lu' fi-sa dar si fi-sa lui in acelasi timp. Sper ca cineva o sa aiba amnezie si ca rolul tatalui va fi jucat de Patrick Duffy in ecranizare.

5) Dupa 5000 de ani de cand a aparut pe net videoclipul, Cancan il prezinta si ei: e vorba despre Doru, cel cu laptop-ul si cu "Asheashta eshte o biblioteca". Titlul contine "redus mintal". Fair point.

6) Un pusti gay danseaza mai bine din buric mai bine decat Shakira. No comment.

Libertatea

1) Zece obiecte Feng Shui care va pot schimba viata: dildo, praf vaginal Tantrum Rosa, speculum, flori de plastic (cu roua), peste pe televizor, revista Ioana, CD cu Anca Turcasiu, CD atarnat de oglinda retrovizoare, papuci cu tocuri de 30 de cm, pusti gay care danseaza mai bine decat Shakira. OK, poate nu-s chiar astea cele de pe site-ul Libertatea dar astea sunt oarecum echivalente.

2) Laura Andresan vrea ca sex shop-urile din Romania sa aiba cabine pentru masturbare. De ce? Oamenii nu se mai masturbeaza la ei acasa? S-o fi schimbat cumva si eu nu am aflat????? Asta inseamna ca oamenii cand se duc la vot, de fapt, se masturbeaza in cabinele alea???

3) Silviu Prigoana a spus ca ar putea face si 100 de copii cu Bahmuteanca. Pai deh, tinand cont ca singurul lucru care s-o mai intari la el e piciorul de lemn, o sa se trezeasca cu 100 de Pinocchio. Speram ca nu cei in varianta Roberto Benigni.

4) Katy Perry a fost desemnata cea mai sexy femeie din lume. This is just wrong. La anul o sa fie Lady Goaga, probabil.

5) Mutu la party cu fete goale. Nu ma pot abtine si va trebui sa fac o glumitza imbecila: "HA HA HA! LE-A UMPLUT PE FETE PE PARCURS!" Imi cer scuze.

6) Noua senzatie a concursului "Britain's Got Talent" are 80 de ani. *SIGH* Acu probabil o s-o vedem in neglijeu in videoclipuri cu Beyonce.

7) Ca si Cancan, cei de la Libertatea vorbesc despre barbatul care si-a tras-o cu fi-sa si au facut copil. Si-au tras-o de doua ori: o data de Sf. Maria si o data in Ajunul Craciunului. Se pare ca Revelionul si Pastele l-au ratat.

8) Sarkozy a intarziat la o intrevedere cu regina Angliei pentru ca si-o tragea. Oare regina Angliei a ajuns la timp sau a intarziat si ea pt ca facea sex?

9) Dan Negru considera ca religia ar trebui sa fie o materie obligatorie in scoli. Revoltator! Religia si sportul ar trebui scoase din programa. In locul lor, pus ore de mamelire (pentru baieti) si sex oral (pentru fete).

10) Bendeac (cine dracu e asta?) considera ca Dumnezeu nu e un bou sinistru si sadic. Dar...aici e inclus si Mohammed ?

11) O eleva s-a sinucis pentru ca nu a avut bani de avort. Da' nu avea umerase prin casa???

12) I-au taiat gazele si apa Mioarei Roman. Adica i-au bagat doape si nu se mai bese si nu se mai pisha.

Click

1) Turcasiu, dezmat la 40 de ani. Mi-e absolut rau si vomit!

2) Ce faci cand erectia dureaza peste 4 ore? Acelasi lucru pe care-l faci si atunci cand dureaza 30 de secunde: profiti de ea.

3) Ponturi pentru o vara plina de sex. Nici macar nu ma chinui sa intru sa citesc articolul. Bine, am intrat pana la urma. Excelent articol care te invata sa-ti racoresti zonele fierbinti (stai cu sula-n congelator etc.), sa faci sex pe podea, sa savurezi senzatiile post-sex (intorsul pe partea cealalta si adormitul) etc.

Ei, dragii mosului, asta fu tot. Enjoy?

No Comment

Libertate + CanCan + Click = LOVE.

Here's why. Orice comentariu e de prisos.

Fetiţa care a murit în faţa casei Andreei Marin a fost înmormântată

A legat o elevă de mâini pentru că nu era cuminte.

Trei vampiri, arestaţi în Australia.

Deşi medicul Vasile Velea, epidemiologul care s-a sinucis miercuri, la 63 de ani, şi-a făcut recent criptă în Cimitirul Ghencea, familia vrea să-l îngroape la Cimitirul Bellu.

Elvis Presley a murit din cauza unei constipaţii cronice

Eu sunt Chivu şi vă dau la...

Oamenii care locuiesc în Glăvăneşti, judeţul Bacău, cară apă potabilă în fiecare zi de la o distanţă de peste un kilometru.
Deşi Guvernul a alocat, în urmă cu trei ani, 250.000 de euro pentru amenajarea a cinci puţuri de mare adâncime, edilul a reuşit să facă doar două. A reuşit în schimb să construiască fântâni arteziene

Ham! Ham! Ti-am adus ziarul

Si-au mancat prietena, dar au scapat ieftin

Sexul n-are varsta! O demonstreaza chiar un bucurestean de 68 de ani, pe care l-am intalnit la Eros Show.
Pe barbatul cu parul sur si inceput de chelie l-am gasit printre rafturile cu vibratoare si alte jucarii erotice de la targul de profil care se desfasoara zilele acestea in Capitala. Barbatul ne-a marturisit ca este in cautare de lucruri care sa ii condimenteze viata intima. "Anul trecut am cumparat doua vibratoare pentru mine si sotie, anul acesta vreau sa vad ce gasesc mai nou", ne-a marturisit acesta.

Agitatie mare la Scoala Generala nr. 30 din Capitala, unde preda profa de religie care s-a lasat filmata in toiul unei partide de sex oral.

Am sot potent, nu gluma!
Cantareata americana Pink l-a pipait in zona intima pe sotul ei, Carey Hart, la un eveniment monden.

Dacă în timp de criză şi industria pornografică e la pământ, vedetele XXX s-au reorientat. E cazul românului Dudu Steel, care tocmai şi-a lansat o melodie, “Summer Vibes”.

Fizz: «Îi dau lui Voicu 1.000 de euro ca şofer!»

Temişan: «Doctorul mi-a zis să fac amor fără prezervativ, dacă vreau copii»

Bianca despre cei de la Libertatea: «Îi distrug, îi dau în judecată»

I-a cumpărat nevestei pat cu 3 vibratoare

Mutu, vrei să cadă blocul pe noi?

No and a Half man and a Cup and a Midget

Eu: let's write a drama series as well
Eu: it will be about
Eu: abooout
Eu: a gay man that doesn't like men
Eu: it will be provocative
Eu: and raunchy
Other Person: i want write drama about hermaphrodite
Eu: and a poignant satire of the contemporary death of the soul
Other Person: who is named hermafrodite to rhyme with afrodite
Eu: Afrodite Hermafrodite
Other Person: and is double personality and they in love with eachother
Other Person: and he wants make love to himself
Other Person: and have own children
Eu: nooo is better named Afrodite Henry Ermafrodite
Other Person: then we make spinoff with the kid
Eu: and he writes name as
Eu: Afrodite H. Ermafrodite
Eu: the same as Dr. Acula
Eu: who is doctor that made boob job for him
Other Person: yes
Eu: ok so
Eu: we write show
Eu: about afrodite which has split personality
Eu: and they are secretly in love with each other
Eu: and best friend gay man that does not like men
Other Person: yes
Other Person: he provides comic relief
Eu: and they have a capybara as a pet
Other Person: to depressing drama of hermafrodite
Eu: yes
Other Person: whats a capybara
Eu: is great animul
Other Person: show me
Eu: http://www.offbeatearth.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/capybara.jpg
Eu: is very intelectual looking
Eu: and afrodite speaks only in lines from phantom of the opera
Eu: but other personality of afrodite speaks only in lines from wicked
Other Person: yes
Other Person: BUT ! ! !
Other Person: UNBEKNOWNST TO EITHER OF THEM
Other Person: SHE HAS THIRD PERSONALITY WHO STAYS HIDDEN
Other Person: AND WANTS TO PLOT THEIR DESTRUCTION ! ! !
Eu: yes and speaks only in lines from
Eu: what?
Eu: frooom
Eu: hm
Other Person:
Eu: the bible?
Eu: for children
Eu: yes
Other Person: yes
Eu: the bible for children!
Eu: good
Eu: and and
Eu: we should have a midget
Other Person: and gay guy speaks with lines from mama mia
Other Person: hahahahaha
Eu: yes
Eu: but we need midget
Other Person: yes
Other Person: ........
Eu: i kno
Other Person: THEY ARE BOTH MIDGETS
Eu: i kno
Other Person: !!!!!!!!
Eu: no no
Eu: i kno
Eu: even bettur
Eu: midget is fashion consultant to both
Eu: BUT!
Other Person: yes
Eu: since he is mifdget
Eu: he always gets the sizes wrong
Eu: and hilarity ensues
Other Person: so they always dressed in wrong sized clothes
Eu: yes
Eu: and the capybara poops rainbows
Eu: !!!!
Eu: and in moment of heart-wrenching drama
Eu: at wedding of personality 1 with personality 2
Eu: midget sings somewhere over the rainbow
Eu: and personality 3 appears
Eu: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand end season 1
Eu: cliffhanger!
Other Person: HAHAHA
Other Person: but we must also have screech
Other Person: we make ensemble cast with greatest stupidest characters in all world
Other Person: like screech
Other Person: no nono
Other Person: they guest star
Eu: and catherine zeta jones
Eu: i will put this on me blog
Other Person: yes
Other Person: to get funding
Eu: yes
Eu: and tits
Eu: or GTFO
Eu: what will it be named?
Other Person: no and a half man
Eu: and a cup
Other Person: and a midget
Eu: so No and a Half man and a cup and a midget
Eu: great

Goldfrapp - Head First

Azi se implinesc 100 de ani de la nasterea lui Kurosawa...

Nu! Wrong post! Trebuia sa scriu despre noul album Goldfrapp.

Here i go again:

Anul acesta, Goldfrapp au lansat un soundtrack pentru un sequel la Xanadu...

Nu!

Acest nou album Eurythmics...

Nu!

Acest nou album Olivia Newton John

Nu!

Ok, o luam de la capat. Noul album Goldfrapp e bun. Nu excelent. It ain't Black Cherry dar e la fel de bun ca Supernature.
It fills you with a sudden urge to get up, put your spandex suit on and do aerobics 'till you die. Ceva de genul.
Da, e optzecist pana in maduva oaselor numai ca nu e optzecist asa cum e La Roux, Ladyhawke sau Little Boots (aceasta Lady Gaga a ne-retardatilor infecti). E optzecist pentru ca a fost facut in anii 80 E optzecist pentru ca pare a fi facut in anii 80.

Deci,da, e bun si are cateva momente chiar foarte bune. Poate urmatorul va fi la nivelul lui Black Cherry?

Best Music Videos Of The Decade (2000-2009)

So. The best videos (care-mi vin in cap la momentul asta, obviously) din 2000-2009.

A se face click pe fiecare pt videoclip :)

Sunt sigur ca am uitat foarte multe dar...asta e.

Here we go:

30. Chromeo - Fancy Footwork

29. M.I.A. - Jimmy

28. Mylene Farmer - Degeneration

27. Mylene Farmer - Si j'avais au moins

26. Hot Chip - One Pure Thought

25. These New Puritans - Elvis

24. The Tough Alliance - Neo Violence

23. She Wants Revenge - Written In Blood

22. Bat For Lashes - Daniel

21. La Roux - I'm Not Your Toy

20. Fever Ray - When I Grow Up

19. Hercules And Love Affair - Blind

18. Arcade Fire - Black Mirror

17. Pet Shop Boys - I'm with stupid

16. Of Montreal - Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Things

15. Bright Eyes - At The Bottom Of Everything

14. Devendra Banhart - Carmensita

13. Ladytron - Destroy Everything You Touch

12. Daft Punk - Technologic

11. Bat For Lashes - What's A Girl To Do

10. Kate Bush - King Of The Mountain

9. Simian Mobile Disco - I Believe

8. Air - How does it make you feel

7. Cansei De Ser Sexy - Alala

6. Royksopp - What Else Is There

5. Einsturzende Neubauten - Sabrina

4. Vitalic - Poney Part 1

3. Sonny J - Handsfree (If You Hold My Hand)

2. The Knife - Pass This On

1. Pulp - Bad Cover Version

Les 09 Movies de 09

Oui! Top 09 of 09!

Without further crap, here they are:

1. Where The Wild Things Are
2. Avatar
3. Drag Me To Hell
4. The Hurt Locker
5. Inglorious Basterds
6. Thirst
7. Dristict 9
8. Bruno
9. Moon

Si...cam atat? Star Trek nu merita desi mi-a placut, Transformers 2 e brainless (dar cat de fucking fun), The Boat That Rocked nu am servit, Ponyo e facut in 2008 (si lansat in 2008 in Japonia), Chaser nu intra ca si ala e din 2008, The Good The Bad The Weird iarasi nu intra ca-i facut in 2008...

Altele care mi-au mai placut prin 2009 da' nu este de top: My Bloody Valentine 3D, Star Trek, Transformers 2, Feast 3, 2012, Grace, Big Man Japan si am mai uitat.

Of!

Top filme de rahat pe 2009:

1. Giallo (Argento ne-a tras la muie!)
2. Jennifer's Body (adolescentii NU vorbesc asa, multumesc pentru Megan Fox dar as fi preferat sa vad un film numit Megan's Pizda)
3. Paranormal Activity (tre sa fii completamente cretin, cu acte in regule, apostila, stampila, parafa si semnatura de la Dumnezeu ca sa te sperii la rahatul asta. Pentru cei care se sperie de usi.)
4. Antichrist (bre domnu LVT, esti de foarte cacat de la Manderlay incoa. A se vedea acest film doar in conditiile in care va tresare vagina sau penisul la penis fals de Willem Defoe)
5. Street Fighter: Legend Of Chun Li (habar nu am ce dracu i-a apucat...e o foarte mare problema cand Bison e blond cu ochi albastri si poarta costum de corporatizd)

Si sunt sigur ca mai sunt o groaza.

Ce as vrea sa vad din 2009: The Boat That Rocked, In The Loop, Up, White Ribbon, Nine...