Predators

It's a fact: there isn't much love for Predator 2 in the movie industry. There's even less love for the Alien vs. Predator movies (one of the most outrageously insipid series around, almost as useless and cretinous as the Twilight series). While I understand why the AvP series is hated (I'm one of the people that despise it fiercely), I fail to see why Predator 2 is not considered a worthy sequel. Sure, it obviously has its fair share of flaws and problems but, compare it to Predators and you'll see that you can have it so much worse.

Predators, directed by Nimrod Antal (the director of Vacancy, Armored and Control) and produced by Robert Rodriguez (the director of the amazing Planet Terror and of the snoozefest that is Sin City, among others - i won't even go into his family movies), is such an awful bore-fest that I almost nodded off a few times (even during the action sequences!). Predators is a movie that's so devoid of any fun and soul that it makes one want to poke Robert Rodriguez' eyes out for mistreating such a simple and great concept in this way.

The plot of Predators is as simple as it can get: a group of individuals find themselves stranded on an alien planet and hunted by the Predators in the title. Sure, no one was actually thinking that the movie will have an amazingly rich plot and a lot of character depth and development (it's an action/S.F. movie and a sequel to boot - and to top it all off, the series is not known for its epic plotting or intense characters). The group of people is formed of a mercenary (a god-awful Adrien Brody, acting like a wooden puppet, as usual); a special ops woman (Alice Braga); a medic (Topher Grace, playing it like he did Venom in the horrible Spiderman 3 movie - that is like a sour, constipated asshole); an FBI most wanted killer; the mandatory black person; the other racially diverse character (an under-used Danny Trejo); a russian and a Yakuza guy. The cast is almost as diverse as High School Musical or as a christian porn movie (if there is such a thing) and almost as annoying and vomit-inducing (with, of course, the exception of Danny Trejo).

Obviously, since it's called Predators, you won't see just the average/regular/classic Predator, you'll meet a cast of Predators (one as boring as the next). Funnily enough, the big Predator boss somehow reminded me of Jason Voorhees when he was souped up in Jason X. Yes, folks, it's that bad.

Unfortunately, the movie doesn't even achieve the title of "So Bad It's Good". It's just bad, boring, it's full of cringe-worthy moments (such as the one-on-one sword fight between a Predator and the Yakuza guy), some truly shoddy and wooden acting (Adrien Brody, why won't you just go away?) and awful scripting and special effects (never thought that someone could get fire wrong in a movie nowadays and don't even get me started on how bad the invisible Predators look).

Rodriguez and Antal managed to create a movie that has no fan service (apart from the passing mention of the first movie's events) and that is so mortifyingly boring and retarded, you'll beg either for a coma or for your money back. How can someone manage to suck the fun out of an action/S.F. movie based on one of the best movies of the 80s is beyond me.

Rodriguez, get it right with Machete or I'll kick you in the nads.

Jim Butcher - Storm Front (Dresden Files Book 1)

Lost items found. Paranormal Investigations.

Consulting. Advice. Reasonable rates.

No Love Potions, Endless Purses, or

Other Entertainment.

Harry Dresden is the best at what he does - and not just because he's the only one who does it. So when the Chicago P.D. has a case that transcends mortal capabilities, they come to him for answers. Because the everyday world is not as 'everyday' as it seems. It's actually full of strange and supernatural things - and most of them don't play well with humans. That's where Harry comes in. Takes a wizard to catch a - well, whatever it is the police are having trouble with this time.

There's just one problem. Business, to put it mildly, stinks. So when the police bring him in to consult on a grisly double murder committed with black magic, Harry's seeing dollar signs. But where there's black magic, there's a black mage behind it. And now that mage knows Harry's name. And that's when things start to get...interesting.

Magic. It can get a guy killed.

I initially found out about Jim Butcher and his "Dresden Files" series after purchasing, by mistake, "Turn Coat" which happens to be the eleventh book in the Harry Dresden series. The blurb on the back cover seemed interesting enough the first time around so I decided to purchase and read the first (at least for now) book in the series. I'm glad I made that decision.

"Storm Front" is a very entertaining novel of magic, humor and the financiary struggles of Harry Dresden (actually, Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden) that seems to be just an average Joe. With a twist. He's a wizard and not only that but he is the only wizard you'll ever find in the phone book as he's the only openly practicing wizard in the country.

The novel is written from a first person perspective (obviously Harry's perspective) and from the beginning it's clear that Harry is no usual wizard: he's not very sharp but he has great self-deprecating humor. The supporting characters are not very fleshed out, being mostly reduced to the level of sidekicks or helping the narrative to move along. One particular character that I would've liked to know more about is Bob, the spirit trapped in a skull in a basement. He slightly reminded me of Bartimaeus, from The Bartimaeus Trilogy, albeit on a sexual overdrive.

The villain (trying not to spoil too much there) is basically one-dimensional and has no redeeming qualities but it does not really hurt the novel overall.

There are some interesting things in the novel in terms of the magic system that's being used by the wizards with the staves and rods being used to channel the magic power, the tapping of energy from storms, the usage of summoning circles etc. Sure, it's nothing very original but it is interesting to see how Butcher uses them to suit the book's and/or the character's needs. Unfortunately, the Sight (the Third Eye of the magicians, where they can See the actual energies and forms of the things around them - sort of like the plane scanning in The Bartimaeus Trilogy but on a smaller scale) is something that is not very detailed and I hope that in future books we'll get to find out more about it.

"Storm Front" is in no way a masterpiece of contemporary literature. It's not epic neither in scope nor prose. It's sheer Fun and it's a great way to spend some hours. It never reaches the levels of The Bartimaeus Trilogy, for example, in terms of humor or character development but, as I mentioned above, it's worth a read. I'm very much looking forward to reading the other books in the series and I'm sure I'll have a lot of fun with Harry Dresden.

John Connolly - Every Dead Thing

The Travelling Man is on the move. Few will survive the journey.
Former New York detective Charlie Parker is a man shattered by the brutal killings of his wife and child.
The Travelling Man is an artist of death, making human bodies his canvas and taking faces as his prize.
Now another girl is missing...

I was very excited about John Connolly after reading his "Book of Lost Things", a smart and very well written fantasy novel. I had heard about his Charlie Parker thrillers but didn't really get around to picking one up and reading it (I think it's mostly due to the fact that I've been obsessed with Richard Laymon lately). I eventually bought about 5 of his 8 Charlie Parker books and just finished "Every Dead Thing", his first Charlie Parker novel (named after the american saxophonist and composer).

The book starts out with a bang, the death of Charlie Parker's wife and young daughter at the hands of an individual called The Travelling Man. What's striking from the beginning (and it will hold up throughout the rest of the book) is that Connolly does not forbear from depicting very graphical murders (especially involving children and young adults). He also touches on things that are hardly mainstream in books: child rape, child mutilation etc. so this probably isn't a book for people that find such matters distasteful. I do not, however, so I kept on reading. The plot eventually splits in two (I actually enjoyed the secondary plot more, about the dissapearance of Catherine Demeter, than I did the main plot, about the Travelling Man) and, eventually, all will fall into place (as it usually does and you just know everything is connected, more or less).

Moving on to the characters now. Connolly wrote Charlie Parker as a depressed (for obvious reasons) former alcoholic with a sharp tongue. His humor is quite sparkling at times and he does manage to be a likeable anti-hero (the first comparison coming to mind was that of Spencer Grant from Koontz's "Dark Rivers of The Heart" - although, Spencer Grant was not an alcoholic with a sense of humor and Charlie Parker is sans chien). The supporting cast are an interesting bunch as well: Rachel Wolfe (Charlie Parker's psychologist friend), Angel and Louis (the gay assasins pair), Woolrich (Charlie Parker's long time FBI friend). There are some characters that are one-dimensional but I wasn't really bothered by that, as they helped move along the plot in an effective way.

The setting of the novel was something that attracted me from the beginning: part of it takes place in New Orleans (and sorroundings). Connolly's New Orleans is not far from the New Orleans we've come to know in movies such as Cat People (the hyper-sexualized 1982 version), Angel Heart and even Lynch's Wild at Heart. I have no clue if New Orleans was ever like that but I would love to visit it in its pre-Katrina years.

Connolly's prose is gripping from the start and his humorous burts lighten up the mood just at the right times. I do have some gripes with the book, though. The plot twist is a bit too obvious, the final showdown is rather mild and the Travelling Man does not really travel that much (but perhaps it's an allegory that is completely lost to me). Even as it is, I highly recommend this novel and I'll be returning to Charlie Parker once I'm done with what I'm currently reading and I'll most definitely have a complete John Connolly book collection in the near future.

Pourvu Quelles Soient Douces

So...here's the best music video ever made, in its full glory, split in two parts (stupid youtube!):

Part 1

Part 2


Enjoy. There's nothing better.

Music 2010 [so far]

So, here's what's necessary to listen to in 2010 so far:


1. Marina And The Diamonds - The Family Jewels
2. Scissor Sisters - Night Work
3. Yeasayer - Odd Blood
4. Hot Chip - One Life Stand
5. James - The Night Before
6. Joanna Newsom - Have One On Me
7. Xiu Xiu - Dear God I Hate Myself
8. Smooth - The Parade
9. Robyn - Body Talk Pt. 1
10. Goldfrapp - Head First
11. CocoRosie - Grey Oceans
12. Caribou - Swim
13. These New Puritans - Hidden
14. Morning Benders - Bigh Echo

Will return with updates as time goes by.